- Document "Management": Accidentally discovering and then mismanaging highly sensitive documents. Ability to say "I was just trying to do a good job" in a convincing manner is a must.
- Moral Compass (Optional): Providing occasional, awkward moral support. Note: Your moral compass may be recalibrated to suit our family's dynamic.
- Event Attendance: Attending high-profile events, standing awkwardly at the edges, and making serendipitous connections that somehow advance your position within the empire.
- Family Feud Participation: Acting as an unwitting pawn in family power plays. Bonus points if you can remain blissfully unaware of your role in the grand scheme.
- Crisis Management: Handling minor crises with a mix of panic, improvisation, and sheer luck.
Personal Assistant Extraordinaire (Cousin Gregg Clone)
Freelancer, Full-time •München
Your tasks English
The Role: As our Personal Assistant Extraordinaire, you'll navigate the treacherous waters of high society and corporate backstabbing, all while maintaining an endearingly naive demeanor. Your responsibilities will include (but are not limited to) the following:
Your skills English q
- Education: Ambiguous. Preferably something that makes you seem relatable but also hints at hidden depths.
- Experience: None required. In fact, a lack of experience could be considered an asset. We're looking for someone who can grow (or be molded) into the role.
- Skills: Exceptional ability to fall upwards. Must be tall enough to be noticed but not so imposing as to be threatening. A knack for unintentionally comedic timing.
- Character: Innocent enough to be likable, savvy enough to survive. Must have the endurance to be constantly out of your depth yet somehow stay afloat.
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